Our Life Unexpected: Tomorrow

Tomorrow is the day. Four years ago tomorrow was the worst day of my life. I knew Maelani was leaving us. The tubes, drips and machines were no longer sustaining her. She was just too little in this big world. I knew they could do no more for her. I knew I had to sit with her while she past. It's not fair. I am still sad and angry. I don't like tomorrow. I don't want to remember those hours, that pain, but I do and I will relive it tomorrow. I will remember my friend texting me that morning asking how Maelani was doing and knowing the truth. I remember my Mom asking if she could come up and not wanting to tell her that today was the day Maelani would leave us. I remember being afraid to hold Maelani because I thought it would hurt her, the moving her around from Wyatts lap to mine. I remember her sweet eyes and the way she smelled, which was hospital clean. I remember her size how small she was. The nurses coming in to check on us and bring us food as if we could eat. I remember the hospice nurses coming in telling Wyatt and I how we would grieve differently. I remember taking my daughter to the funeral home and leaving her there. Then I remember nothing after that. I am not sure what happened in the days after. I don't remember what I did after Maelani left. It was not the life I imagined or wanted. The next time I remember is her funeral. I remember all the people that came family, friends, doctors and nurses and all the people that did not. I remember her books and the music. I remember thinking this can't be real why are these people here this is not real, but it was and it is. Miss Maelani, I remember you. Your family remembers you. You will not be forgotten. I love you today and always. Thank you for those 16 days, I remember.